I have never been so excited to be on a train and go get smashed in the café car in my life. This is what I assume adulthood is about.

My office has the greatest one liners. “Octavian, bless his heart, believed all cash belonged to him” and “Augustus, if you get married, man, woman or beast, I will attend!”* are just a few of this week’s best of.

*I don’t work with any Romans, I just figured I would change names to something interesting.

murder-myself:

the most emotional post on tumblr

This is why chips are a never ending cycle of getting fat

(Source: pizzaland, via dean157)

  • Q: What is the music of life?
  • A: Silence, my brother.

So here’s what I don’t get about the Dark Brotherhood. The ritual to summon them requires human flesh and a heart. Once you want someone dead to the point of ritual dismemberment, do you really even need to bother with assassins anymore? Couldn’t you have just gone and killed the person you hate yourself instead of killing the poor schmuck you used for body parts so you could call someone else to do it?

lxfill:

rhythmcalum:

pharmaceutical-goddess:

diagnoose:

bethanyaliceh:

thexdivinexinfection:

Just in case…

Stay safe, please. IF YOU ARE IN TROUBLE, OR THINK YOU MIGHT BE; IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING STRANGE INSIDE OR OUTSIDE YOUR HOME PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT THE POLICE. CHECK YOUR CARS THROUGH THE WINDOWS BEFORE YOU GET IN THEM. DON’T GO ANYWHERE ALONE. LOCK YOUR WINDOWS AND DOORS. BEFORE YOU ENTER YOUR HOUSE, CHECK FOR SIGNS OF FORCED ENTRY OR TAMPERING- THIS CAN INCLUDE SCRATCH OR TOOL MARKS BY LOCKS OR ON THE GLASS OR A LOOSE HANDLE, INDICATING THAT THE LOCK HAS BEEN BROKEN. RETREAT TO A SAFE, PUBLIC, CROWDED PLACE SIT BY THE COUNTER- THIS MAKES IT EASIER FOR THE STAFF AND SECURITY CAMERAS TO SEE YOU. CALL THE POLICE AND NOTIFY THEM, ASK TO BE PICKED UP AND THEN SUBMIT A STATEMENT. IF IN DOUBT, PLEASE CALL THE POLICE.

well at least Jacksonville is last

Long Island ain’t on here so I’m safe. Good to see the whole state of Texas is up for purge though. Also wtf is with a 6 hour purge lmao

+ Cleveland, Ohio (August 30th) and I don’t know the time, sorry. Lock your doors and windows, stay safe lovelies xx

awake-withthemoon
… “New York, New York” and “Manhattan, New York” are the same thing, calm your tits.
Edit: So I just googled the purge… is everyone on this website a gullible 13 year old idiot? NO, the government is not just going to “suspend” all laws annually so we can run out and murder and rape whoever we like for 12 hours. That’s not what governments are for, they like having MORE power and control, not less. You kids need to stop reading so much goddamn Hunger Games. smfh

lxfill:

rhythmcalum:

pharmaceutical-goddess:

diagnoose:

bethanyaliceh:

thexdivinexinfection:

Just in case…


Stay safe, please. IF YOU ARE IN TROUBLE, OR THINK YOU MIGHT BE; IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING STRANGE INSIDE OR OUTSIDE YOUR HOME PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT THE POLICE. CHECK YOUR CARS THROUGH THE WINDOWS BEFORE YOU GET IN THEM. DON’T GO ANYWHERE ALONE. LOCK YOUR WINDOWS AND DOORS. BEFORE YOU ENTER YOUR HOUSE, CHECK FOR SIGNS OF FORCED ENTRY OR TAMPERING- THIS CAN INCLUDE SCRATCH OR TOOL MARKS BY LOCKS OR ON THE GLASS OR A LOOSE HANDLE, INDICATING THAT THE LOCK HAS BEEN BROKEN. RETREAT TO A SAFE, PUBLIC, CROWDED PLACE SIT BY THE COUNTER- THIS MAKES IT EASIER FOR THE STAFF AND SECURITY CAMERAS TO SEE YOU. CALL THE POLICE AND NOTIFY THEM, ASK TO BE PICKED UP AND THEN SUBMIT A STATEMENT. IF IN DOUBT, PLEASE CALL THE POLICE.

well at least Jacksonville is last

Long Island ain’t on here so I’m safe. Good to see the whole state of Texas is up for purge though. Also wtf is with a 6 hour purge lmao

+ Cleveland, Ohio (August 30th) and I don’t know the time, sorry. Lock your doors and windows, stay safe lovelies xx

awake-withthemoon

… “New York, New York” and “Manhattan, New York” are the same thing, calm your tits.

Edit: So I just googled the purge… is everyone on this website a gullible 13 year old idiot? NO, the government is not just going to “suspend” all laws annually so we can run out and murder and rape whoever we like for 12 hours. That’s not what governments are for, they like having MORE power and control, not less. You kids need to stop reading so much goddamn Hunger Games. smfh

(via golden-elixir)

mrgolightly:

Björk - Hyperballad

(via suicideblonde)

sirenboy:

image

dude i hope you know that “je suis le pain” translates into “i am the bread”

(Source: floragod, via atomic-moose)

oldest-friend:

"accidentally" acquired a french lover on the last night in stockholm????????????????????????????????????

my condolences. i’ve read that if you pour olive oil on them you might be able to remove them safely and release them back into the wild.